Just did a piece of work with my lover and he was rather brilliant. It reminded me of stuff I read on Esther Perel's writing on desire:
'You know one thing, when I ask people: when was the last time you looked at your husband or wife, and you felt desire. And you know what they always say? Not: "When we were like this [she holds a hand up, very close to her face], staring into each other's eyes and holding hands." No.
It's always: "When I saw her giving some talk or some presentation, like at work or something, and she didn't even know I was there." Or: "When he was about to go windsurfing, and he was so in his own mind and doing something that had nothing to do with me or the kids." It's when they see the distance between them, when they recognise that person as completely separate from them! That's when they feel erotic desire. And that's what you must keep in a relationship, to keep the sex.' I think this is possibly one of the truest things I have ever heard.
Original article was "So How Is Your Sex life These Days" by Polly Vernon in The Observer Woman magazine
My lover and I don't get nearly enough time together and with both of us having family stuff going on, it's worse than usual, but good to see him shine in front of others...
