My lover was attempting to wrestle my hedge into submission with hedgecutter, loppers and secateurs so I thought I'd better go and admire and make encouraging noises, when I got diverted by a tortoise! We gave it a dish of water,but were uncertain what to do next. I decided to ask immediate neighbours if they'd lost a tortoise and let them know in local shop. My next-door neighbour's house I suspected only had the teenage kids in residence as loud music was emanating and they either didn't hear me or were ignoring me. I met my newish neighbour around the corner, who was amused, but not missing a tortoise. A retired couple across the way were outside so I told them and their son made the expected jokes about fast getaways etc. Nobody else seemed to be at home.

As I walked towards the shop another neighbour from further down road was just walking from the bus-stop. She used to be the Avon lady and I'd not seen her for ages. As she has children I thought she might hear about a missing tortoise so asked her about it. She got very excited and asked if I wanted her to look after it! it seems she loves tortoises and had been tempted to buy one day before - Seems they cost £100 nowadays. I had been wondering how to keep hold of tortoise while seeking rightful owner so accepted Avon Lady's offer of tortoise foster-home.

That evening nice young woman knocked my door saying she'd lost three tortoises! I told her there was one fostering with AL but thought that while it only fair, I was a bit sorry for AL and possible empty tortoise-home syndrome!

Following day my lover and I were sawing and sledge-hammering a sofa that was wedged in my side passage doorway (as you do...)when AL was passing. It seems that lady with tortoises breeds and sells them, so AL got to buy one she'd fostered for £60 - result!