Having explained this badly to Menhir, I thought I'd better make one and actually take notice of what I do! My lover and I had very small ham baguettes for lunch so we would have room for the experimental pud. This is what I did.

I buttered inside of medium glass pudding bowl and poured in some golden syrup. I have a squeegee bottle of it and put in about quarter of inch depth.

In mixing bowl I creamed one egg, two oz each of soft butter (I use spreadable stuff), SR flour and sugar. I added about an oz of water to make it a slightly looser batter, then tipped it on top of syrup. I spread ot around so it was on top of syrup and slightly up around edge of bowl.

I gave it three mins in 1000w microwave, but it really is about watching it and removing when risen but slightly tacky. My Mum's micro is lower wattage, so I know taking it out and sticking back in doesn't harm, unlike conventional cooking.

And as it 'stood' I made custard in jug in micro and it was exellent! The syrup managed to break through and came bubbling up one side of pud, but didn't detract in any way.

I do hope this works. It's so difficult explaining something you do without having to really think about it.

I had a month's holiday to take, so was a bit strange going back to doing some night shifts of my part-time job, but I'm coping really well with staying alert all night which is great. Have now done three shifts in last two weeks and pleased with how I coped.

In terms of other work on self-employment front I have a writing assignment and six day's training work which will keep the bills paid for a few more months. I've also received my redundancy and been paid for work completed. I'm really pleased that somehow work has come my way without me having to be more proactive.

On Wednesday my lover and I delivered a day's training together with me 'sub-contracting' him as my co-trainer to help deliver my training package. It's first time we've done full day's work together although we've run half-day sessions in the past. It went really well (and I have feedback forms to prove it!) and we loved working together, but somehow the wrench of parting was particularly difficult.

Although I have some future work projects, I've not got anything 'hanging over me' as it were. I'm awaiting info from third party before I can begin writing project and training is delivery of someone else's material at dates not yet decided. So I know I'm OK for work and money but nothing needing immediate attention, which feels strange.I am working on my website which is rather rewarding, but I'm being very ambitious so it's a rather big project. Also putting together training I delivered on Wednesday distracted me and I've not yet got back into it.

I see website as beginning of next phase of me proactively seeking work. I want to seem like an expert and a good website seems a good basis for this. I've written lots of stuff about my field of work, so makes sense that it will be on display somewhere.

Saw my lover yesterday for a few hours around hospital appointment and other stuff. We arranged to meet in a car park in Neath which had been taken over by a travelling fair! It threw us somewhat, but I managed to park and we had nice day wandering around Swansea doing errands and chilling. My TV has given up ghost and although I don't watch a lot I like to have the choice, so we went pricing TVs. My current 'must sees' are 'Life on Mars', 'Ugly Betty' and a strange Welsh comedy called 'High Hopes'. I have a portable TV that works but doesn't get range of channels it should.

Had a few hours with my lover today which were very sweet despite me being sleepy after the night shift.

And Easter is practically upon us! How did that happen? I shall be chief cook and hostess to Mum and sisters for the holiday and my lover will be off visiting his daughter, so another change of pace ahead. Next week we will manage a few days together before we both go into family mode. I'm debating over turkey, turkey crown or couple of big chickens. Life is so exciting sometimes... May do piece of beef as well as is my younger sister's favourite, although in our family turkey became the Easter tradition in latter years of Mum having been chief cook and which I've taken over. Of course, there's always the traditional Easter meat of lamb which is very Welsh and my favourite. Decisions, decisions...

Well, I don't think clock change made night go faster, but I was pleased with my levels of alertness. Quite awake now, but know I'll get dozy when I have bath.
My lover will bring me a cuppa mid-morning and potter until I come to.
Have a nice day, folks!

Saw my lover on Thursday but he was helping me with practical stuff and although we enjoyed each other's company the time just flew. I'm putting together a website to try and get some work and build professionalism. Also have been working on a training day my lover and I are delivering next week. So my nose has been to the grindstone, but quite rewarding I think.
Friday was a day of just being together. We'd both perked up a bit health-wise so we tried to remember what it was exactly that men and mistresses do together...
Apparently the slightly naughty top from Ann Summers, fishnets and stilettos proved a good memory aid

I've now got frustrated with website as I can't figure way to convert clipart pics to jpegs or gifs which they have to be to upload onto website... I've looked for pics via search engines, but I want stuff that's not copyrighted.

I'm working tonight and am hoping the clocks having gone forward will make night seem shorter but I doubt it will work that way.

So Wednesday night I have this bloody relapse and am really cross.... And I see my lover Thursday and am having a moan (as you do) and suddenly realise that while I still have nagging cough the razor blades in my throat seem to have got sheathed...
And he says 'Did you talk a lot yesterday?' And I think well yes, I spent all day either chatting with friends and colleagues or being a paranoid schizophrenic for three hours of role-played therapy...Doh! it seems my 'relapse' was a sore throat from spending a day talking almost non-stop for first time in ages!

I know life's not fair, and it's not even that much, but I'm well-peeved!
It's nearly a fortnight since I got poorly, and I thought I was more-or-less better and my sore throat is back! Sometimes only the 'F' word will do, so F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did waking night on Sunday and did really well - Amazed how alert I was and had pleasant if dozy Monday with my lover.
Yesterday was l-o-n-g as I had union meeting in morning then spent afternoon with learning difficulties group and didn't get home until gone seven.
Today I pretended to be a schizophrenic three times for three therapy sessions for student therapists (I'm having an interesting time work-wise as you can see!)and returned home exhausted.I thought a little lie-down with Radio 4 was called for, but I felt I'd done really well to recover from my poorliness and that tiredness to be expected. I am however, well-peeved to discover my throat is suddenly sore again. my dis is very gruntled!
And today saw stunning views as I'd ventured into Usksider's territory and saw the Usk floodplains in amazingly sharp sunshine. Drove down a scary road to Caerleon - It looks like a real road on map and although I was told it was a country lane, it was still a shock that it was - but as said amazing views between pulling over for oncoming traffic...
So cross to be feeling poorly again!
Will see my lover tomorrow and Friday, so pleased about that. but still cross about my throat.

Having been 'poorly' since Thursday before last, I now seem to be free of sore throat and merely have remnants of cough and cold. Having now used up my year's leave I returned to the part-time night job last night a bit concerned about my staying awake ability, but it went really well despite the full-strength cough mixture.

My lover seems to have had a more extreme version of what I had but as he had it first he is now over it, but an arthritic condition has kicked in rather severely, so we're a pair of old crocks at the moment!

Despite this, he kindly did some housework for me while I dozed, which was wonderful. We then went to our favourite greasy spoon - The wonderful 1927 in Canton (Cardiff CFC won something significant that year,[the FA?] hence the name)I'm sure bacon, egg and chips is not recommended convalescence eating, but it was wonderful as usual.

We then had fight with computer and we won without me having to threaten it with a stick.
I had been managing on 128RAM which I've now quadrupled and the b*gger was still crawling. I now know how to disable the process that's slurping my memory - if only it would work for me as well as for the computer! And of course if that becomes ineffective there's always a big stick... - for computer, not me, despite my inadequate human memory!

I had a hot lemon and paracetamol early this morning and went off to meet a colleague re work. The paracetamol must have worn off and I developed horrible pains in my throat every time I swallowed. And of course the more I tried not to swallow, the more compulsively I did so! Have since dosed myself up and had afternoon/evening nap. Throat just dull ache now and back to slight feverishness.
I hope to have normal service resumed soon, meanwhile I am floating on cloud of Benalyn, Lemsip and fever...

http://www.wyenot.com/muchmarcle.htm
Picture of the hollow tree at MM. I sat on bench in tree.

For Usksider and other tree lovers
http://www.orionbooks.co.uk/MP-16437/Meetings-With-Remarkable-Trees-Mini.htm

Meetings With Remarkable Trees
Thomas Pakenham
With this astonishing collection of tree portraits, Thomas Pakenham produced a new kind of tree book. The arrangement owed little to conventional botany. The sixty trees were grouped according to their own strong personalities: Natives, Travellers, Shrines, Fantasies and Survivors. From the ancient native trees, many of which are huge and immeasurably old, to the exotic newcomers from Europe, the East and North America, Meetings with Remarkable Trees captures the history and beauty of these entrancing living structures. Common to all these trees is their power to inspire awe and wonder. Meetings with Remarkable Trees was a lovingly researched book, beautifully illustrated with colour photographs, engravings and maps - a moving testimonial to the Earth`s largest and oldest living structures.

I don't usually do these but want to post and brain's not too alert at the moment.

1. Can you cook?
Yes - I can do all basics reasonably well but veer from cooking to stock freezer to living on rubbish and take-aways.

2. What was your dream growing up?
I rather fancied idea of fame in childish way but had ambitions to be a nun, then air hostess

3. What talent do you wish you had?
To be able to hold a tune

4. Favourite place?
The bay on Santa Maria, the smallest Maltese island

5. Favourite vegetable?
Potato - my peasant roots are showing!

6. What was the last book you read
Maybe The Moon - a lovely and sad story about difference by Maupin
http://www.armisteadmaupin.com/mtm_01.html
Currently reading Alan Bennett

7. What zodiac sign are you?
Pisces - I think someone once said I was a double negative one, but I don't know what that means. I'm also a wood sheep according to Chinese horoscope

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
No

9. Worst Habit?
Sloth?

10. Do you personally know anybody on Blog?
Yes - Met two bloggers. Have invited people from othersite to be friends and have had varying levels of friendship, but they're not bloggers as such...
My lover is technically a blogger, but he's not a regular writer.

11. What is your favourite sport?
None

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Optimistic

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator lift with
someone of the opposite sex?
Depend on the person. Probably chat

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
Violence

15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
I used to try to astral travel - I failed

16. Do you have any pets?
No

17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
No

18. Is the sun shining where you are now?
No

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
More disturbing I think...

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
Where to start?! I'd be thinner I guess.

21. Would you be my good angel or bad angel?
Good

22. What colour eyes do you have?
Brown

23. Ever been arrested?
No

24. Bottle or Draft?
Neither

25. If you won £10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Save it to buy some time - boring aren't I?!

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
Yeuch! Filthy habit [shudder]

27. What's your favourite bar to hang at?
Don't have one as such, but I guess it would be Chapter Arts Centre

28. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes

29. Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
Logic puzzles with Radio 4 in the background

30. Do you swear a lot?
Yes, but I try to be a bit careful where and when. For some reason when people first hear me swear they find it funny.

31. Biggest pet peeve?
At the moment - my computer!

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Contented - Said I was boring!

...although I've seen my beloved several times this week and will see him tomorrow he's not reason for fever - Well he probably is, but not in romantic/sexual way....

Had a good meeting with colleague and got another piece of work (Yes!!!) and arranged to do a night shift tomorrow as overtime. Had a bath and now all peculiar! Temperature all over the place and my bed is calling me at 7.30! I have to wait for hair to dry (not as long as WCG would have to wait, but long enough to have me all wobbly)and my anti-virus scannner to finish - My computer continues to have tantrums despite me increasing it's RAM fivefold - ingratitude I call it!

Perhaps I need an anti-viral scanner...

Non-feverish and healthy cyber-hugs and kisses all round.
Nos da/Good night!
Polly
xx

Heavens! I seem to be suddenly popular according to my stats, but not madly enough to be the spiderbots. Is it you Bedfordshire Brighton lover?!

Interestingly I caught a Radio 4 play that covered this today.

What is Missing from Your Life (the men)

By Stephanie Dale

Two years ago, writer Stephanie Dale asked the women of Birmingham to answer the simple question, 'What is missing from your life?' She turned the resulting letters into a drama-documentary for Radio 4. Now she asks the same question of the men of Birmingham, weaving their answers around the myth of Birmingham's Anglo-Saxon origins.

I enjoyed the play and it seemed to reflect the 'common sense' stuff and the findings of the science of happiness as well as teach me something of the history of Birmingham.

It's available on 'Listen Again' if you're interested.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/arts/afternoon_play.shtml

Further to comments from Menhir and Pompadour I too have been having thoughts around menopause. My sister is five years younger than me (47) and I discovered she like me is wondering if she's menopausal/post-menopausal. We both have the most obvious sign but neither of us have had the possible side effects.

As I've used chemical contraception I was hesitant to assume the menopause as I've not had side effects. My sister said that she no longer gets spots and I realise that I get far less, so hormonal change does seem likely.

There is a test you can buy from the pharmacy so she bought one. It's a bit like a pregnancy test (I think) and is a urine analysis. First test seems to indicate my sister has had menopause so perhaps we are both just fortunate in lack of side effects. I've always had easy time hormonally with both emotions, moods and physical effects. My sister actually experienced menstrual cheerfulness throughout.

As to sex and the menopause - For me it is nothing but positive. I don't have any of the physical effects of menopause that may make it less comfortable and the excitement of my relationship keeps my sex organs (brain and more obvious!)working well.

I’ve been thinking about happiness. My recent comments on ‘Hand to Mouth’ and ensuing exchange with Menhir were triggers.

I seem to have been one of the few people who watched an excellent series called ‘Making Slough Happy’ that explored politics of happiness. http://www.richardhill.co.uk/makingsloughhappy/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2005/10_october/25/slough.shtml

It seems that the politics of happiness may have got onto the political agenda. I’ve just read this interesting piece in Observer.

Government seeks secret of keeping us all happy

Ministers' thinking is being influenced by new research that shows the contented live longer

Gaby Hinsliff, political editor
Sunday March 4, 2007
The Observer
It is a simple question, but it may just reveal whether or not you will live to a ripe old age: does somebody love you?
Those who can confidently answer 'yes' are significantly more likely to be alive for the next 10 years than those who feel all alone. For love is a more accurate factor than smoking in predicting life expectancy, according to David Halpern, a senior policy adviser in the Downing Street strategy unit.
His work on the science of happiness is increasingly influencing government. He says adored people are happy people, and the happier they are, the longer and more productive lives they lead.
Such ideas may raise eyebrows, but they are being taken increasingly seriously within government as the startling impact of happiness on citizens' lives - and lifespans - becomes clearer.
'There is a study of college graduation photographs, the sort where you are told to smile,' Halpern told The Observer. 'A third of people have a true smile, about a third have got a fake smile, and the rest look miserable. People have used those photographs [to trace the students' future lives] and they are predictive of hard outcomes like your life expectancy and the state of your marriage.'
A similar study in nuns, meanwhile, analysing statements given when entering cloisters, showed life expectancy varying by nearly a decade between the happiest and unhappiest. And love, it seems, has the biggest impact of all: 'There is a pretty strong relationship between subjective wellbeing and longevity. The single strongest predictor of whether you will be alive in 10 years' time is whether you say yes to the question, "does somebody love you?" '
While the biological relationship between happiness and health is unclear, research has shown happy people have lower blood pressure and are less likely to abuse drink or drugs. Being shown kindness can even produce a measurable surge of oxytocin - the 'bonding' hormone released by breastfeeding mothers and couples during orgasm - which has a de-stressing effect.
Halpern's surprising findings are at the heart of the forthcoming policy review designed to establish Tony Blair's legacy. Ideas now being studied by ministers include proposals to stimulate kindness towards others - shown to make both giver and receiver happier - by offering special 'community credits' to those who do good works. In Japan, for example, such a scheme funds community care for the elderly.
Japanese couples who live too far from their ageing parents to look after them will 'adopt' an elderly stranger locally and care for them instead, earning credits that their own parents can use to 'buy' similar volunteer care near by. The US state of Minnesota has established a similar system of 'community service dollars', where volunteering to care earns the caregiver favours in return.
A pro-happiness administration, Halpern argues, would prioritise reducing unemployment - a critical cause of unhappiness - over reducing inflation, which makes people unhappy but less so, and concentrate on improving parenting skills, since strong attachment between parents and young children is a strong indicator of future happiness.
It would also value more highly informal care, such as looking after elderly relatives; promote volunteering; and most controversially, ditch public service targets in favour of targets to ensure clients are satisfied: 'Do we say to health professionals, "We will scrap 95 per cent of those targets and the one thing we want you to worry about is whether your users are happy with what you do"?' said Halpern, who argues that what patients actually say they want most is respect and dignity.
A pro-happiness government might also treat public servants differently. In one of Halpern's studies doctors asked to make a diagnosis from x-rays did so faster and more creatively when offered sweets while working, which boosted their mood.
Many of his ideas are already being picked up in cabinet: Alan Johnson will publish a new parenting strategy later this month, while Work and Pensions Secretary John Hutton will sell a forthcoming welfare crackdown partly on the basis that working makes people healthier and happier. New ways of providing community care, such as the Japanese trading scheme, are also being debated inside the policy review.
'There's no doubt that ministers are really interested in [this issue]. We have to figure out what are the policy choices - what would a community-service pound look like?' said Halpern.
Other findings - such as that a materialistic culture of keeping up with the Joneses fuels unhappiness, since someone will always have possessions more desirable than yours - are ahead of their time. Halpern admits government is not ready for taxes on consumption. None the less his findings show that increased economic prosperity has not produced happier citizens. 'When you look at wealthy nations, GDP is less important than the measures of institutional freedoms,' said Halpern.
For ultimately, according to Halpern, our happiness relies on those closest to us: 'The way in which people treat each other is really, really important. Acts of consideration and kindness loom very large.' In other words, to do yourself a favour - first do a favour for someone else. It could just save your life.
Ways to happiness
• Move nearer the office Commuting, says Halpern, is the best example of something people think will make them happier - buying a bigger house further out of the city - which actually has a proven negative effect.
• Get married But you don't necessarily have children. Happiness peaks in people when they are in their twenties and declines through their thirties and forties, the childraising years. It doesn't peak again until you retire. Evidence suggests the strain of combining job and family causes the happiness dip - although children should prove their own reward.
• Earn at least £25,700 a year Below this sum, individuals are less happy than average. But don't fret about earning too much more - graduates who state making money is a goal in life have lower life expectancy.
• Cultivate your garden A shortcut to happiness is so-called 'flow' activities, where the brain is sufficiently engaged to allow you to switch off daily worries. Gardening is a good example.
• Get out more Scandinavians, the happiest nations in Europe, tend to spend increased wealth on socialising more. Anglo-Saxons practise greater isolation as they grow richer, for instance by buying children televisions in their bedrooms which separate the family.

As said I sort of lost my Ebay virginity, but it seems my seller was not quite as straightforward as presented
I had message from Ebay informing me that he was a rule-breaker and I could withdraw from my side of deal. Having received the disc I realise it may not exactly be legit, but sending it back seemed such an effort and the temptation to just keep it was very strong...
So now I'm complicit in kinky Ebay transaction!
What a start!

...ebay virginity that is!

Today I dabbled and despite signing up, opening a Paypal account and even making a purchase, I can't help feel I've not had the 'real thing'
I've been having computer problems and decided I need to purchase Microsoft Office so my lover led me astray to a perusal of Ebay. We found one for a tenner and I decided to just go for it rather than bid and hang around...

It may be the beginning of a slippery slope...