I'd been looking forward to seeing him today then realised it was for less time than I anticipated. Felt cheated but it was nobody's fault. Also work has caused me some frustration and I can't actually ring him for a moan... So ended up feeling sorry for myself although seeing him today. fact he is still a bit poorly with ear infection just made me feel rotten for being such an ingrate.

We went out for lunch and had nice time and were good natured enough to only be amused when barmaid dropped my lunch all over the floor!

Went to bed for a cuddle which helped the iritation to decrease to touch of the blues. I hate being blue around him and to be honest it rarely happens, but it seems such a waste - Like wishing your life away.

The work we did together this evening went well, which was great, but was awfully hard to say goodbye... We're seeing each other tomorrow as pure 'date' day, so hopefully my mood will get better and better.

When my lover and I had a little stroll around cardiff recently I bought him some little foil pie dishes so he could have a go at pie-making. He bought himself a rollingpin and made a little blackberry pie for his wife and himself. she's awfully impressed and he's delighted with his new skill. His garden is now clean out of blackberries...

It's a bit strange this mistress lark...

Today we did a work thing together and had lunch and stroll in Ammanford. I shall be seeing him on Thursday firstly for an afternoon onour own, then we will be working together in the evening. It's great to be getting lots of emails again. Having spent hours together today, I returned to a lovely email...

...my chicken's had an hour to reach room temp - let the fast roasting commence!

from the wonderful Wikipedia. I was recently reminded of Robeson at latest Eisteddfod when an organisation called 'Croeso' (Welcome) displayed a Paul Robeson exhibition. A while back I bought my sister a tape of the Porthcawl recording.

Robeson's association with Wales began in 1928 while he was performing in London in the musical Show Boat. There, he met a group of unemployed miners who had taken part in a "hunger march" from South Wales to protest their situation. During the 1930s, Robeson made several visits to Welsh mining areas, including performances in Cardiff, Neath and Aberdare.[9] In 1934, he performed in Caernarfon to benefit the victims of an industrial accident at Gresford colliery, near Wrexham, in which 264 miners were killed.[10] In 1938, he performed in front of an audience of 7,000 at the Welsh International Brigades National Memorial in Mountain Ash, to commemorate the 33 men from Wales killed while fighting on the side of the Republic in the Spanish Civil War. In 1940, he appeared in The Proud Valley, playing a black laborer who arrives in the Rhondda and wins the hearts of the local population.

Between 1952 and 1957, Robeson was invited to sing at the Miners' Eisteddfod, an arts festival, held at the Grand Pavilion in Porthcawl. He was unable to attend because the United States government had confiscated his passport and banned him from traveling. In 1957, he spoke and sang to the Eisteddfod over a secretly-arranged transatlantic telephone link, beginning with a greeting to those in attendance: "My warmest greetings to the people of my beloved Wales, and a special hello to the miners of South Wales at this great festival. It is a great privilege to be participating in this historic festival. All the best to you as we strive toward a world where we all can live abundant, peaceful and dignified lives."[11]

Welsh miners' organisations were among the most prominent international supporters of the campaign calling for the restoration of his passport and to Let Paul Robeson Sing!. When his passport was returned in 1958 as a result of a United States Supreme Court decision in a related case, Robeson traveled to Wales as a guest of the MP Aneurin Bevan to appear at the National Eisteddfod in Ebbw Vale. He then performed at the Miners' Eisteddfod, fulfilling a promise he had made while prevented from traveling. In 1960, Robeson's final performance at the Royal Festival Hall in London included choral accompaniment from the Cwmbach Welsh male voice choir.[12]

Robeson remains a celebrated figure in Wales. The exhibit Let Paul Robeson Sing! was unveiled in Cardiff in 2001, going on to tour several Welsh towns and cities.[13] A number of Welsh artists have celebrated Robeson's life: The Manic Street Preachers' song "Let Robeson Sing" appears on the album Know Your Enemy. The band also covered "Didn't My Lord Deliver Daniel?"— the spiritual sung by Robeson as part of his 1957 telephone performance. The play Paul Robeson Knew My Father by Greg Cullen, set in the Rhondda during the 1950s, features a character with a childhood obsession for Robeson's music and films.[14]

Sentimental Journey on R4 has been a revelation. I've always liked Arthur and his grumpy persona but the playfulness and warmth on Sentimental journey has been just wonderful. The journeys of Tony Ben, the Iraqui comedienne (wonderful,but her name escapes me)and now Julian Lloyd Webber have been fabulous radio and a mix of humour and humanity.
I love Llantony priory and my favoutite route to hay on Wye goes past it because it is so wonderful. I have mad postcard of dancing Welsh women at Llantony and a pic of myself sat among the fab ruins of Llantony. There is also a lovely old church still very much alive near the priory ruins. my route to Hay via Llantony also takes in the Skirrid Inn an amazing (and apparently the oldest) Welsh pub that used to be a Courthouse and actually had hangings over the stairs. I did take a psychically sensitive friend there so warned her before hand! The Welsh sausages were pretty good there I seem to remember!
The route to Hay via Llantony is fab for taking tourists especially Aussies like my cousin who are used to wide open roads!
Thinking of wcg and her trip to Hay - I assume she's taken more sensible route!
And of course the Black Mountain also makes me think of Paddy and his lovely Brad - Check out his blog for his news if you are not yet in the picture!

I've had such a fun time gossipping on top of hectic couple of days and working through last night. Can't believe it's gone midnight!
'Night, Everyone!
Thanks for lovely supportive comments and fun gossip.
Polly
xxx

...I could be tempted by stylish vinyl numbers for my wheelie bin...

...the ads for wheeliebin stuff have returned! i've had adventures, swapped recipes, reeled at the gossip about Molt, fatal, WCG (and another couple - but that was restricted access )and I'm still down on someone's list as the woman obsessed with her wheeliebins!

It's the cooking method i was dubious about, but it really does work! As said I find recipe too lemony. I love tarragon though. I sometimes put onion inside instead or just use tarragon. lemonpepper along with salt and black pepper on skin also gives amazing flavour.
originally I saw on TV and got recipe from teletext! Purely coincidentally I ended up with cookbook with recipe as well.
Unlike St D I make my gravy/sauce in micro!
http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/fast-roast-chicken-with-lemon-and-tarragon,1369,RC.html

...You start talking about visiting your lover and you end up giving out recipes! Link to welshcake recipe for Menhir.
Meanwhile must find out more about what wcg is up to...
And what about Molt and fatal....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/welshcakes_67264.shtml

Well, after preparing for a couple of days of disappointment I've had a lovely if strange time!
Doing my 'hope for the best', prepare for the worst I was steeled for nothing but a phonecall until next week, but it wasn't to be.

On Thursday he was going to be 'home alone' awaiting NTL man. We have never met at his out of common sense and I hope some decency (despite our obvious lack of decency as well). But we really wanted to see each other so like our first stumbling steps into love and dishonesty we talked each other into it and I visited him at home.

There was something rather sweet about it despite potental fro tawdriness. he knows my home so well he can imagine me here when we're apart. he has longed forme to be able to 'see' him in same way and now I'll be able to do so.

We were extremely well behaved. Anything else would have been too much violation and tawdry. We talked about work and discovered a handful of blackberries in his garden so I made him some minature blackberry pies. I've been meaning to teach him how easy it is to make pastry for ages, but not got round to it before... And despite not being able to hear himself because of ear infection he sang me a Dylan song

Neither of us could believe how quickly the afternoon went and after an evening meal at an out-of-town diner I got home with barely time to draw breath before having to leave for the night shift.

Not seeing him tomorrow after all! He's back in Wales and poorly and off to Doc's

And even more frustrating he has a broken modem so he can't read all the emails I've been sending him and can't write to me! We are so used to long email exchanges that texting is a very poor substitute - and it takes me forever - especially as I like to write 'proper' and punctuate!

He's managed to text me to say he's home, ill and has broken modem and will ring tomorrow. I am worried about him being ill (ear infection)but so disappointed not to be seeing him.

...but he'll be back in Wales tomorrow and I'll see him Thursday!

Hard not to be stupidly sentimental at times. I did my mad Woman of Fairwater act again putting out my wheelie bin and green bag wearing my nightie and bedsocks. Weather's got a bit chillier round here and I put on his slippers on grounds they fitted over my bedsocks then got all sopy 'cos I was wearing his slippers!

And then picture he put up for me came crashing down and I got sentimental about that! It had perspex not glass so only minor nuisance. It wasn't his fault it fell, but mine - The string broke! I didn't know I was owner of rotten string!

Still missing him...
When at computer I can see his poems which are a lovely reminder of our first meeting and first time he came to my home...

Rest Bay

I watched you step through the rock pools maze
As the sunlight set your hair ablaze
And what wouldn’t I give to spend all of my days
In the lea of your sweet splendour

The gulls remarked as I closed my tin
And I followed you home as the night drew in
As I tried to think of an original sin
To enhance your complete surrender.

Fairwater

He knocked upon the door at first,
She offered him a key.
He tapped upon the window pane
And she opened the blinds to see.
He whispered through the letterbox
And she called him in for tea.
She had won his heart and mind
Long before the kissing.

He sat within her parlour's warmth
And she shyly caught his eye.
He pondered on seduction's path
But had no need to try.
Their fingers touched politely
And they gave a lover's sigh.
They each played out their parts to find
They knew what they'd been missing

...I've defrosted the freezer and done a load of washing up that was getting to the point of embarrassment - and I live on my own!

I know enough about mental illness and depression to understand that real depression disables you from doing stuff - loss of affect - and so does a touch of the blues. Minor depression and everyday misery can be alleviated by doing stuff, if you can steel yourself to do so. But now I'm wondering about healthy activity and displacement activity - Were my freezer and washing up best things to do - What about my work stats and the piles of stuff to sort and the garden and some proper housework, and...and...and... aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhh

My lover is on holiday and I'm a bit blue and stupidly sentimental.

Don't know if you have 'Google Earth' but I think it's amazing - I decided to be a satellite spy on his cottage in North Wales. If you put in a postcode you watch earth spin and home in on chosen destination. Sadly North Wales is a little blurred, but the latest version of programme now has incredibly sharp images of my bit of Cardiff.

Thunder and lightening has just returned! We had wonderful storms from 4a.m. this morning and they seem to have just returned...

Wonder what weather's like near Llandudno...

If you want to check out Google Earth - just google it and get free download. it really is fun although quite a big program.

Page 69, that is!
I just heard a thing on the radio about how to read fiction. One of the tests is to read page sixty-nine and see what you think.
This is mine from a collection of short stories that I've written...

...selling kitchens. Mandy believed it. Not buying a kitchen from him would be like kicking a friendly stray dog. She could see Nathan and Prince both shared a certain charm and wondered idly if it got either or both of them much sex.
Nathan was decidedly good looking she thought. He could do with a wash and brush-up but was a young Nigel Havers type in looks but a bit of a Norman Wisdom in the efficiency stakes despite his obvious intelligence and education. And where did he get his clothes? Mandy wasn’t overly fashion-conscious but he didn’t just dress like a nerd – he dressed like a nerd from another era! He too was in his thirties so it wasn’t as if these were the cherished threads of his youth – he was just – a mess – a fairly clean but ‘grubby round the edges’ mess (the hair could definitely do with a wash, she thought) – but still a mess.
Mandy really liked Nathan but could no more imagine fancying him than she could imagine seducing her twelve-year-old nephew. Like her nephew she could see Nathan was smitten – little boys and big boobs – she was getting used to this attraction slowly since her weight-gain… Mandy, however was long past being a mother figure (despite now having the actual figure to go with it!). In her early relationships she often ended up with boys who could ‘talk to her’ while her friends got the more exciting lads. Now she wanted exciting men and was not about to be a sexy emotional nurse to anyone and definitely not the needy, chaotic Nathan. To her amusement she learnt that she was ‘quite slim’ compared to Nathan’s ex and his ‘usual type’ but he was prepared to make a exception…
Mandy decided the vacancy was not for her and found herself repeating the old mantra about really liking him but lacking the ‘spark’ that she needed to fancy him while reassuring him of his attractiveness – he just wasn’t ‘right’ for her. It was all actually true. He was good looking and she liked him but she could not imagine fancying him…

My lover will be away for nearly two weeks... Today was our last time together for a while. We had a perfectly lovely time before lunch and were then just lazing around. I described it as 'post-prandial apathy' but he decided 'languor' was a better word. While it described the mood better, I complained at lack of alliteration and we both went quiet, then got the giggles as we realised the other was trying to find a synonym for languor that has a 'p' in the right place.
And then we got a bit sad about our coming separation and it being something unsaid (up until then) so I described it as the 'elephant in the room' - An expression for something obvious that everyone avoids discussing through embarrassment, unease or similar. I decided that was too strong, so he decided we didn't have an elephant in the room, just glimpses of it's trunk outside. We were both quiet and serious thinking about the coming weeks, when I got the giggles and decided we had a post-prandial pachyderm! We both got the giggles, but it was very sad and hometime was awfully hard...

And as another Mars bar bites the dust after an inglorious and unequal fight my thoughts turn to self-publishing.
Anyone have any experience?
There's a firm called Lulu which requires no money up front and allows you to simply buy on demand.
http://www.lulu.com/uk
As an experiment I've just had a go at putting together a book I've written and ordering it. I'm quite impressed by the company and look and feel of the actual book, but the shipping cost doubles the cost from about a fiver to ten pounds. As a vanity project I guess that's OK but makes it unlikely as a profit-making enterprise. A slim paperback of short stories by an unknown author can't merit that sort of cost.
I'm wondering if anyone knows of any other firm that doesn't need money up front and perhaps British...

I claimed to be an expert on the erotic delights of chocolate on molt's blog recently.
The following is a piece of fiction I wrote - The character in question happens to share my knowledge of chocolate, but luckily I don't share her obsession with slimming mags!

She’d used the loo at Jo’s and discovered a stack of slimming magazines. What had surprised Jane was that someone as bright as Jo (not to mention thin!) could spend money on magazines that had so little to say, none of which would be new to anyone who read mainstream magazines or watched T.V. Jo agreed. She knew a Mars bar had 290 calories but three mini ones seemed more satisfying although ‘weighing in’ at a mere 270 calories. Jo could probably lecture for Wales on chocolate satisfaction – it seemed it contained something called ‘phenyl ethylamine’ – the very chemical your brain released when you were in love! And then there were seretonins and endorphins to soothe you and cheer you up… Past experience told Jane about Jo’s knowledge of the sensuality of chocolate. Jo would explain the oral satisfaction of chocolate’s body temperature melting point with the naughtiest leer. Jane had never felt the need to ask Jo what would be easier to give up – sex or chocolate – it was too obvious… Jo was not blinded by her passions however. She knew about exercise, diet, and the madness of fads yet her addiction to chocolate was as seriously matched by her fixation with the bloody awful slimming magazines. She knew it was stupid and she knew they were all the same but it was the before and after stories of the ‘successful’ slimmers that reeled her in every time…

Have you discovered this site?
http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/
They do some nifty things with biscuits!

Although I don't understand why it's meant to be funny I accept I've been tagged as a lover of geckos, by someone who does find it funny - I can't be a*sed to change it so it's there on my profile.

Today I notice I'm now labelled as a randomninja!

A gecko-loving random ninja just about sums me up really... perhaps I should embrace these insights into my nature and alter my own version of my profile...

I just want it known that no geckos or turtles were harmed in bringing you this blog and I still respect my cold-blooded fellow-creatures...

p.s. Not seen slow worms or hedgehog for a while...

I'm not sure how one gets to be a top blogger, but delighted to see Welshceltgirl and Molt flying so high!
Very impressed to have friends in such high places!
Polly
xx

Got rather spoilt by our lovely days together and it's hard to see less of each other although (as previously stated) I do count my blessings and realise how much quality time we have together.

This week a work meeting gave us the oppportunity of a few hours privacy at my home in the evening. As well as obvious pleasures this afforded we also had the opportunity for more everyday delights - An Indian takeaway and just watching the evening draw in together while looking at photos after our 'siesta'.

Of course being human and greedy we want more and still trying to work out how to get a night together...