I'm aware that many people have had bad experiences with exes, but I also now that this is by no means universal. my ex was (and still is) a perfectly nice man. I happen to have grown in a different direction from the way I and he expected and found myself wanting different things.
It is hard to leave a decent man. And hard not to feel guilty at causing pain, but life is not straightforward.
I read lasttape's list of 'Moving On' strategies with interest. Despite guilt, leaving a relationship I knew was no longer right for me energised me and I found myself spontaneously doing more clearing in a week than I had in all the time I'd lived in the house. Although he and I had spent almost all our nights together we did not actually fully live together so the 'sorting' was of my own stuff, not ours/his, but somehow it represented our time together.
I would recommend the hiring of a skip for its energising properties. There is something wonderful about filling a skip with one's past life and unwanted debris.
I have had quite a bit done to the house this last year or so - it is mainly cosmetic and decor rather than major building - and I love the way the house truly feels like mine and my lover's although he too does not live with me. We have discussed the renovations, visited B&Q together, looked at colour charts and he has done most of the work on my house.
I am also now in a bedroom I have only occupied alone or with my lover. It feels very special. I keep it remarkably tidy for me, but like to have the odd memento around to make me smile. There is little as decadent as a single stocking left on a chair or carelessly discarded high-heeled sandal to remind me of our times together.
After about a month of hanging by it's ears, the pink rabbit is gone from the balcony washing line. The Chinese lantern and streamer remain but the faintly disturbing pink toy no longer disturbs. I miss it already