I need to preface this anecdote - I am not anti-wife - Some of my best friends are wives and some very happily married. I'm also not anti-husband - ditto re friends and happy marriages...But I guess there is a type of husband/wife combination that is almost Controlling mother/Naughty child. I know enough to know this combination rather suits the men in the relationship - I've met enough of them - The would-be adventurers who sigh 'If only...', while manipulating the wife to take control. And of course there are women who also enjoy this particular setup. End of preface.

Today I was wandering around Tesco's looking for Chinese veg for some stirfries and some bits and pieces not available in my local shops. I am an ordinary-looking overweight woman in my fifties - hardly racy looking or that alternative. I have no problems with self-esteem, but am realistic and OK about this.

So what intirgues me is why the obviously married man guarding the trolly while wife is scouring shelves decides to sigh, catch my eye and wonder aloud what might be happening with the match! Because somehow I suspect I seemed obviously a natural conspiritor/fellow naughty child despite being a woman shopping in Tesco's.

And because somehow, despite my suspicion that his wife is more hard done by than him, he made me giggle and I got caught up and then every time our paths crossed I got the rolling eyes and sighs...

This is not an unusual sort of experience. My lover has noticed I get a certain type of 'look'from some men, and he says there is something 'unwifely' about me! I do wonder about hidden 'mistress-types'. I'm no obvious 'vamp', and have never been a mistress until I fell for my curent lover.

I do have a theory about some naughty-child type husbands though. I think they enjoy the security of marriage but like the fantasy of taming/capturing/seducing/f**king independent non-wife women. When single and in relationships I have been aware of how 'easy' (and shameless!)a certain type of married man is...